Day 1
15th June, 2011. New Forest/Stonehenge and area.
We landed at Heathrow airport at 6:30am, a daunting reality coming off a 25 hour flight. We do not believe in Jet Lag, by not giving any validity to the concept it is pretty easy to overcome.
It took under an hour to clear customs and immigration – amazing.
There was a moment when the woman checking the passports asked what we were doing in England and we panicked a little, not knowing how much detail about our trip to tell. Then we calmed down by reminding ourself, this isn’t the USA and the immigration people are not nearly so frightening. So straight from the airport we picked up our hire car and off we went.
We were headed straight for the New Forest in the south, on the way we did a drive by of the Ascot Racecourse and Windsor Castle. And without a Sat Nav at this stage, it was interesting to say the least. The roads here are terribly confusing, each one seems to have six different names, M3, A35, M303 etc, We haven’t made sense of this code yet. So we found a mall, bought a Sat Nav (at this weird shop that was sort of like an online store that you walk into, they had catalogues that you looked at then put an order in on computers around the place, then they called out your order number and brought you your purchase. Weird.)
We also, got coffee, Sarah’s first in over 55 hours. She decided to go without caffeine for the plane trip. So that was well enjoyed.
Then we set off again for the New Forest. The highways here were also very confusing in terms of speed limits. We could not find a single sign, but then there were these signs with a camera, which seem to mean speed cameras in the area. In any case, they drive very very fast. We would be cruising along at about 120km and people keep zooming past at what must be 150 plus.
On the way Sarah spotted 4 dead pheasants, they must be truly dumb animals. She could remember the ones in the “Animals of Farthing Wood” were lunatic idiots that got themselves killed.
The New Forest. Oh My God, the New Forest was stunning. I must admit that we were expecting England to be nothing much special in environmental beauty. How can a country with such a long history of human domination can have any beauty left. But these heavily settled areas are sort of just set in the middle of this lush and stunning forest. Like, people live here, among the deer and wild ponies in all this green.
We saw some deer and of course the wild New Forest Ponies (which seem to have a pretty diverse interference of different breeds mixed into them these days). We found one mare and foal that let me come right up to them. The baby was really interested in me but the mother made it clear it wasn’t allowed to come right up to me (it did this by walking between us), that was cute. Then they (the ponies) headed off into town, down the road. They knew the cars would stop for them. 
The main centres of all the towns are lined with fences and cattle grids on the roads to keep the ponies from coming down the main street. Also, we saw a dead badger, woo (for us seeing it, not for it being dead).
Then we drove down to the coastline, Highcliffe-on-Sea, to look at these little beach shacks that people rent. They are coloured little huts on the beach that people use to change in and store things in for trips to the beach, also to set up tables and chairs in because it is too damn cold to sit on the beach. Fools, going to the beach here, it is freezing. Brrrrrrrr.
The towns here are incredible – such history. They are a style that we don’t normally like, quaint little cottage type things with white windows, stone walls and well kept English gardens. But here this style looks fantastic; I want to live in one of these. I do have to say though I have seen a whole eight ugly buildings. Eight! I mean for god’s sake, what were they thinking to allow some ugly buildings.
Driving through one town, I looked up and said, “huh look, a castle”. And yes, right there was a random castle, just there, no drama. Lol
Next we went to Stonehenge. As you are driving down the Highway you come over a crest and there it is. I thought Sarah was going to cry when we came over that crest. But she held it together. We brought our tickets and walked over to it.
This time she didn’t hold it together, she actually cried. Like real tears running down her face, sobbing. Slightly embarrassing, but it was the most profound thing she have ever seen. And she has seen some amazing things in my life.
Even the slightly annoying touristy vibe and all the people didn’t detract from the pure majesty of this place. Sarah have studied it a bit in Archaeology and so it has always meant a great deal to her, it’s not just a must see place but something important to personally. The henge is massive, so much bigger then expected. And to think that they lugged all those mammoth stones from Wales.
We left there, Sarah shaken to my core and totally moved, and drove about to look at some of the white horses in the area. These are the hillsides where the earth has been stripped back to reveal the white limestone rocks to draw giant white horses on the hillside. These are actually very cool. Don’t turn out quite so well in photos but in life are very impressive.
We also saw some burial mounds, one (Silbury Hill) I can not fathom how men could have possible pilled up that much dirt. It was huge, just a massive, symmetrical mound plonked in the middle of a paddock. Right next to the highway too.
So many awesome sights along the way. Like Gypsy Vannar horses!
And we also went to the site of Woodhenge, it is the counter part to Stonehenge. The most plausible explanation I have heard of Stonehenge is that the whole community would start the day at Woodhenge with the sunrise (on Summer solstice) then walk to the river and then to Stonehenge, a walk that takes all day having the group arrive at Stonehenge for sunset. As the sun rises and falls at each it aligns with gaps in between the stones/wooden pillars.
Our hotel was in the gorgeous town of Tetbury, a place called the Snooty Fox. 
It is so named because ‘once upon a time’ there was a rich industrialist (new money). The local fox hunting club would not allow him to join because he wasn’t old money like them with social connections and such. So, to get back at them he proceeded to buy the hotel and pub that the hunt club liked to drink at, he then banned them all. Winner.
It was a pretty lovely place, and its best feature? A bed, like an actual flat and padded bed. Something we had not seen in a fair while. We had prepaid our dinner so had to eat it, and this was a real struggle. We were so exhausted we actually could not eat, like couldn’t even force it down. So dinner went barely touched, despite it being delicious.
Beer of course, a nice local brew but ……, it wasn’t cold. Whaaaaaaa? Ewwwww. Like it’s not warm, but its not chilled either. Bizarre cultural difference. FYI poms, beer is better cold. Do it!
Sad to be tired, because the bar was pretty full of friendly looking people but couldn’t talk to them, totally incapable. So I staggered (and I mean that quite literally) up to my bed and crashed out .
What a day. Expectations for the remainder of the trip are greatly lowered, there is no way it can keep up to this standard.
I forgot to mention the rain, not really rain so much as a constant veil of water drops hanging in the air.
Also, we saw some massive pigs. It was a pig farm we drove past, these pigs must have been well over 11 hands (if you don’t know hands, that is about the size of a not small pony). Anyway, they were big.
Day 2. 16th June. Bath, Bristol and Wales.
Straight into it – we got up, ate our breakfast and set of again past the stunning old buildings and the busker playing a piano accordion. 
Bath next. Bath is unsurprisingly incredible. The town is remarkable, a huge expanse of space packed with old stone buildings, castles and churches. A lot of the beauty comes in the repetition. The same buildings are repeated next to each other and instead of this being a bad thing it is actually beautiful.
The baths themselves were incredible. Saran is a lover of Roman history (wait till you see how nuts she is going to go in Rome) so it was special.
Annoyed that they have built these platforms through the inner works of the baths that are supported by being drilled into and cemented onto the ancient stone. I really think if they need to do that to let people see it, then people shouldn’t see it. Not the general public in any case.
Sarah splashed around in the water, duh, of course. Then read all the signs saying not to touch it because it is untreated. So untreated water is going to kill me is it? Something makes me think I will be fine. It is very special being in this place, so old.
Raina tasted the spa water – Lovely!
Then we went to the Fashion Museum, which was cool. 
The streets themselves were fun to walk around too. Alive and bustling, so many tourists, we did actually manage to get there at a good time, there were a lot more people around as we were leaving. Nice dodge. There were a few buskers, with some sort of standard that is kept and bad buskers are chased away or something, because they were all very good. Like really good.
Driving around we saw a few private forests, these forests that are on private property, lining the property. It is nice that they forgo a bit of land for the sake of privacy. Not like in Australia where the land is cleared all the way to the fence line.
Next we went to Bristol, a place specifically for Sarah’s benefit because of her love for the show ‘Being Human’ which is set and filmed there. So we meandered around the city (which is lovely) and went past the Hospital where a few scenes were filmed for the series and past the studio.
Then it was into Wales. Over a bridge that is over 1k long and very impressive. 
Wales is a bit of a funny place, it took us a very long time to find somewhere to eat, and a toilet. We got petrol, 52 pounds for a tacky little ford and a days driving (eeek, remember the pound is nearly double the dollar). Funny thing was, the petrol station sold booze. In there it was the first time I have been really aware of my own accent, because Welsh accents are so thick and funny.
Then we headed to our hotel, what should have been a half hour drive was a two and a half hour drive. You see we were somewhat reliving our experience in LA in 2008 (when bushfires blocked our path to our hotel). This time in Swansea, Wales a tyre factory caught fire. An extremely imposing plume of smoke and diversions sending us the long long long way (which is unfortunate in a country this tiny).
We eventually made it to our hotel on the Gower Peninsular, checked in a left straight away. Back into Swansea where we had an invite to attend a Welsh men’s Choir practice. This was pretty great, they are an award winning choir and are about to feature in a Welsh TV show. They were spine tingling-ly good and it was interesting hearing what the coach (what do you call a choir teacher?) was saying to them. They used the SolFar method – Doe, Ray, Me, Far, So, La, Tea and then sung in Welsh. Which reminds me, earlier on we found a radio station in the Welsh language, so just listened to that as we drove.
Back to the hotel – via some wild Welsh Mountain Ponies. Which is super special since Welshies were always our breed of choice, Artex and Brego Sarah’s two standout horses of her life, Artex, my first pony, and Brego my soul mate were both Welsh (just Brego was a cob not a pony). We got so close, to foals even and the mothers weren’t phased in the least. So happy.
Day 3. 17th June. Wales/Glosteshire/Warwick
We began the day again with our B&B breakfast, a hearty full English breakfast along with tea, toast, fruit, yogurt, cereal and oats (which is something these Brits seem to take for granted that everyone will eat this much in a morning meal). They sure know how to make a pot of tea though. Our waiter was totally a young Manuel from Faulty Towers – except competent, basically he was Spanish and working in a hotel who was a bit flustered that we sat at the wrong table, it wasn’t set for breakfast he said, this means it didn’t have any tea cups. 
Then off we went again, via some of Great Britain’s best beaches BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Beach? Try, mud infused sand about two metres wide, some slight ripples in the water and all grey and rainy.
We saw some more wild Welsh ponies. This time an even bigger herd.
The guy at Costa coffee (England’s Starbucks) had an amazing Welsh accent (one of the nicest I have heard) We asked him where it was from exactly. And he replied. “iz froom jbdjibvuoedooooo n jbivbi vayeleeeis ohhh abbberrr deeeeooon. Gargle gargle.” Love it!
Heading through Sawansea (Wales) the tyre warehouse fire was still burning so we got diverted yet again, the traffic can be pretty horrific. So we now have now spent more time in Swansea (sitting in a car) then we spent in Bath (looking at magnificent ancient Roman ruins). lol We skirted around Cardiff and waved to Dr Who, Captain Jack Harkness and Torchwood!
Back across the bridge and back into England, bye for now Wales, see you again next week. 
And now off to Gloucester, pretty much for the soul purpose of chasing some cheese down a hill. This is the town where annually a competition is held where hundreds of ballsy men chase a giant wheel of cheese down a ridiculously steep hill. The prize? The cheese of course.
So we stopped off and bought a wheel of cheese and then headed up the hill, my god it was steep. 
We didn’t run down the whole way. For one it was fenced off (seems the council might be concerned about liability or something. Can’t imagine why.) And secondly, there was no freaking way I was going to walk all the way up this hill just to die falling back down. It was so steep. Like, crazy steep. Cooper’s Hill, look it up. So we chased our cheese roll down the last bit of the hill and took some stupid touristy snaps of it. It may sound a bit stupid, but this was exceptionally fun. We do love to do idiotic things like that.
Then we headed off to Warwick Castle, alas we only made it to the ticketing booth. This was due to the fact that I was dry retching at the sight I saw. The noises being made by kids I could hear over the wall, didn’t exactly scream legitimate historical sightseeing, but they certainly did scream. The next turn off was the posters everywhere of half arsed recreations of dungeon scenes (there is a dungeon room, something like a haunted house in side show alley) the posters associating the place with the TV show Merlin, the gift shop that sold YoHo Diablos(association with castles???? Anyone????). And the 25quid entry fee, each. Now I’m not that stingy that won’t pay to see amazing things, I would have paid double that to see Stonehenge.What I am against is paying that much for Disneyland. So we saw a bit of the town instead, its pretty remarkable. These buildings that don’t have straight walls, the brickwork warps along the sides and it is truly beautiful.
Then we drove on a bit more, there is a long way between toilets here. We did eventually find a rest stop which had a feature that all rest stops need. Pokies. Naturally, when that need to gamble strikes you’ve just got to go I guess.
After that we went to Nottingham. Yes the very same Nottingham that Robin Hood is told to come from.
Here is yet another incredible city where the modern meets medieval. The mix is yet again stunning. We saw a mansion that was built upon the burnt ruins of a castle. It is built on top of a cliff which has a network of caves and carved archways, tunnels and stairs. An incredible structure that looms above the city.
The real reason we came to Nottingham though was to eat at Jamie’s Italian, this is one of Jamie Oliver’s restaurants. Jamie is the only celebrity chef that I even remotely care about. And I love him so. Not only do I want to marry him and greatly respect some of the issues he pushes such as healthy eating in schools and free range produce but I also love his cooking. I have a few books of his and it is amazing what the man can make me capable of cooking. I love the practical simplicity yet refined flavours. So it meant a lot to me to eat at this restaurant. The food was amazing. The best crispy squid I have EVER had. And this is my favourite dish anywhere so that is saying a lot. Great mushrooms then wild boar and venison salami. Divine pasta dishes and the best dessert I have ever had. A pavlova dish with berries. So light but just bursting with flavours and textures. Yuuuuuuummmmmmm! I want Jamie to open a restaurant in Canberra. The price was also fantastic, 47quid for three entrées, two mains, two desserts, a mocktail and a cocktail. Wow!
Spent the night near Sherwood Forest in a B&B called ‘Marion’s Manor’, and yet it is run by a Marion. Not sure if she was a maid. She was a cow though. Time to sleep.
Day 4. 18th June. Sherwood Forest/Lincoln/York/Yorkshire Dales
We made our way out today and went for a stroll around Sherwood forest and played Robin Hood.
One woman passing by walking her dog commented, “that’s a bit risky isn’t it”, to Sarah who was tree climbing – in a pretty rude and judgmental way. Do English people never climb trees? Not even kids? It was an odd moment. Anyway, she was having fun.
It amazed me that people have this amazing location to walk their dogs in. We chatted to one lovely older woman who said she came here everyday, lucky cow. This place is so beautiful, and we were greeted by squirrels.
From there we went to Lincoln to look at the Lincoln Arch and Cathedral. As we were driving around Lincoln trying to locate the Lincoln Arch we drove past one turn on Sarah’s suggestion that we should turn left to try and find it. As we did this she commented, “Oh, look to your right at that arch that you can drive under, cool”.
Ahhhh, maybe that arch is the Lincoln Arch, the only Roman built arch you can drive under in the world. Duh! So a loop back around and we found it and had a good look and explore. It is still so mind blowing that here in the middle of a normal functioning town full of people running their businesses and buying their groceries is an arch built by the ancient Romans.
From there we went a little way to the Lincoln Cathedral, holy amazement! It is a little bit big, like freaking huge. We came here for really one reason (which I will get to) but I have to admit the cathedral was well worth it. 
The reason we came was to see the Lincoln Imp. There is a 14th Century legend about two Imps sent to Lincoln Cathedral by Satan to cause mischief. Apparently they tripped the Bishop over and smashed some chairs and tables. An angel appeared and told them to stop. One did and cowered behind pillars but the other continued and threw stones. So the angel turned him to stone. There he sits in the Cathedral, part of the stone carvings. This was important to us because my grandmother often talked about this story and one of the pieces of jewellery I inherited from her when she died was a pin with the Lincoln Imp on it. Getting turned to stone? A bit rough for tripping someone over I think.
We also got to see half of the Magna Carta (the other half of which was at Parliament house in Canberra). I was pretty excited about this. 
From Lincoln we went to York. Now I know I have already talked about how beautiful the mix between modern and medieval is, how mind blowing it is that people live around this history and how amazing the sheer length of this history is.
We tried pork pies at the markets. Who knew that they were eaten cold! Cold, congealed pork fat!
Re Elizabeth Wooton-Bassett, our crazy SatNav. Elizabeth seems to be quite insistent that we see a few of her favourite sights in tiny little towns. She also seems quite adverse to town bypasses. She seems to take us on the most round about ways that can not possibly be the proper way to our destination. Now this is a bit annoying, but admittedly we have seen some interesting things in our incomprehensible squiggle driving at Elizabeth’s request.
Next was York. And York substantially raised our standards on all these fronts. The city is huge and shares a mixture of Roman, Viking, Medieval, and every British era since. It is incredible that for over 2,000 uninterrupted years this city has been inhabited by humans……..at least. Who knows what archaeological discoveries could be found beneath of prehistoric people.
We got on a hop on-hop off bus. One of those open top red jobs that drive around with an audio tour. This was quite fascinating and the best way to see a whole city. We have used then in New York, which is interesting because New York is actually very like York with its varied and colourful – albeit shorter – history. I could have spent a lot longer in York, as in a few weeks. But alas this is a taste testing trip, the goal is to see as many things as we can in a very limited amount of time with the intention of coming back to these places one day in the future for the extensive, in-depth viewing. 
From there we made our way to the Dales area of Yorkshire – Yorkshire Dales.
There are a lot of wind power generators that we have passed, they are magnificent. Have always loved them because they are honestly beautiful and also are such a symbol of modern environmental responsibility.
Driving through the Dales was brilliant. The scenery was some of the best I had seen ever. Glowing green fields divided into rectangular paddocks by stone walls. 
They criss cross the countryside – which is steep hills on both sides – and it is dotted with white sheep. The stone walls were phenomenal, just imagining how long it would have taken to build so many dry wall fences. And also the sheer amount of stone that it would take. I think it must have been a multi purpose venture, one to fence the sheep and two to clear the fields of half exposed stone to make the land suitable for grazing.
We had an interesting time stopping and attempting to take a timer delay photo of us together on the side of the road.
Between the camera going flat, the unstable surfaces to rest the camera on, the wind that kept blowing said camera over and the stinging nettle I sat on, interesting, yes.
We saw a couple riding down the road, one on a Gypsy Cob. The guy offered us a ride. Love this breed.
Pretty special.
The B&B was lovely and we headed across to the next town for a pub dinner where finally we got to drink a pint with some local lads. Finally. Just had a nice chat about cultural differences, accents and such.
Sleep, another big day tomorrow.
Day 5 19th June. Durham, Hadrian’s Wall, Edinburgh, Scotland
We skipped the B&B’s breakfast due to it’s annoyingly late start. Their website advertises 7am but I guess being a Sunday they just couldn’t be arsed and would only do it at 9:30 which just would not leave enough time for the busy day we had planned.
First off was a stop off in the charming town of Durham. This is a gorgeous uni town, now I realise I have never truly seen a uni town till now. The amount of uni aged people around the town was astounding. It made me want to spend weeks here and try to meet as many people as possible. The uni here is pretty special. I have always looked at Harry Potter and marvelled at how these wizard and witch students get to go to school in a castle. I didn’t realises it was a reality. This Durham uni is a castle. And I always thought ANU was beautiful.
Oh, and it is also where the external shots of Hogwarts are filmed, then CGIed into the Oceanside setting you see in the films. Pretty cool.
From there we visited the Angel of the North in Newcastle, a giant modern statue of an angel at the top of a hill overlooking the land around.
And next it was off to follow Hadrian’s wall. A few things about the wall, it was built by Roman Emperor Hadrian to mark the boundaries of the Roman Empire. Funnily he conceded defeat and never claimed Scotland as the Romans were never able to beat the Highlanders. The ridiculously different battle techniques of the Scotsmen (basically the first Gorilla fighters) on their home turf were just too good for the super organised and predictable Roman legions. Got to love the Scots.
The second thing, something I didn’t know, is that the wall was not so much a barrier that was difficult for the Clansmen to cross to attack. But it was a highway to gallop chariots and armies across to get to the location an attack was being made. The wall provide a smooth surface over the otherwise rugged terrain of the area.
So we made our way along the trail of Hadrian’s Wall and stopped to look at many different sections as well as the remains of some Roman towns and forts. These were incredible. In particular the granary at one stood out to me. The stone flooring even remained (not just the foundations) and we were allowed to walk all over the place. I was hesitant at first, I could not believe you would be allowed to walk on it. Then I did and had a really good close look and climbed all over it. 
Driving along, completely unplanned we passed through the town of Wall. As in Wall from the movie Stardust. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend it, a really fun adventure story. It was so clearly the same town, the matrix of stone walls all around it. I briefly considered going in search of the portal into another dimension. But I decided against it, I do want to get to Scotland this afternoon.
The scenery here is amazing too, I am still amazed, I was expecting such a different scene. I guess I am just used to farm land being quite barren and treeless with dirty looking sheep or skinny cows. But here it is all lush and green with gently rolling hills and white sheep and fat cows.
Next…Scotland.